Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and if you’re not already prepared, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it’s because you either have questions or need some ideas.
Lucky for you, I’m here to help.
Before I start answering these questions, I have a few things to clarify. First, I will be referring to the maternal figure as your wife. However, and I cannot stress this enough, it does not matter what your relationship status is. I don’t care if she is your wife, fiancee, girlfriend, or simply the mother of your child. If the two of you made and/or are raising a child together, she deserves to be celebrated on Mother’s Day.
Secondly, and equally as important, if she is pregnant, she is a mother. You don’t have to wait for the baby to be born to celebrate Mother’s Day. Whether she is ready to pop, or the only thing she has to show for her pregnancy is a positive test, whether the world knows or only the two of you; it’s time to celebrate her motherhood!
Regardless of either of those factors, you need to show her that you not only know that she is the mother of your child, but that you love and appreciate her for everything that she has done and will do for your child.
And now I’m ready to answer your questions.
“She’s not my mother, so why should I get her a gift?”
You’re right, she’s not your mother, but she is the mother of your child. Yes, I do understand that the day is meant for kids to celebrate their own mother – but there are so many reasons that you should be celebrating her too.
The most obvious reason being the kids. They face so many limitations to what they can do for their mom. They could be too young to even understand the holiday, too young to earn money, or too young to go to the store. On top of that, many kids simply wouldn’t know what she would like. So, as the father, you need to step in to save the day.
But it doesn’t end there. When your kids see you being extra kind to her, they will learn how to express their own love and appreciation for their mother. They will learn the importance of their mother and be oh so grateful for her.
Finally, the best reason of all, you love her. You want to celebrate her every chance you get. Sure, you have birthdays, anniversaries, and valentines, but those are very different kinds of occasions. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful – but rarely do we celebrate motherhood and all that it is.
I want you to really think about it, thanks to this person, you are a parent. If that’s not the greatest gift of all, then I don’t know what is. The least you can do is show how much you appreciate what she’s done. Carrying a baby for nine months. Giving birth. Taking care of the baby (while recovering, mind you). Breastfeeding. Going through more body changes and wacky hormones than you can imagine. And the truth is, she’s got so much more to do yet, because parenthood never ends.
“What about my own mother? Do I still get her a gift?”
Absolutely! None of that is to say that you shouldn’t be getting your own mother a gift. In fact, I strongly advise against that. With so much of your attention now on your little one, you may be neglecting your mother of some much deserved attention. As a parent, I’ve come to appreciate what my mother has done for me all the more. And I know that there will come a day when I can no longer thank her for that – and I refuse to let that day come with any regrets.
“How much should I be spending on a Mother’s Day gift?”
There is no should, only spend what you want to and are able to spend.
I promise you, it doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, very few people would expect that. I mean, a mother loves every ugly gift that they get from their children. Why? Because it’s the thought that counts.
That goes for anything you do too. The sentiment of a gift is worth so much more than the gift itself. Yes, seriously.
Need some ideas?
Clean the house. Taking care of little ones is hard enough, and trying to maintain a tidy home on top of that can be downright impossible. So help her out. It will bring her a sense of calm. It won’t even matter if it’s up to her standards, because you tried. (And really, there’s no way you could end up making it worse, right?)
Cook or buy a meal. Moms are constantly taking care of everyone else, and of course that includes meals. It truly would be a gift to give her a day where she has even just one less worry.
Get her something that she wants but would never get for herself. Make the day about her by getting, going, and doing what she loves. Because she does that for you and the little ones more often than you realise.
Get the kids involved. Choose things that they are capable of doing but be ready to help them out when they need it. On top of that, make something yourself. It’s one thing to tell your kids to do something, but seeing you do it as well will really drive it home for them.
Finally, remember that it’s not the size or the cost of the gift that matters, it’s the thought. The meaning behind it is what makes a gift priceless. Such sentimental gifts include pictures, videos, momentos, notes, and cards – you know what she’ll love.
But in the end, the gift itself isn’t important, at all. Just show her that you appreciate her and all that does as a mother. Because, quite frankly, that doesn’t get said, let alone celebrated enough.